30s, babies and mother’s day … post by Gabby
It seems that once you officially tie the knot, you’re expected to have babies. BAM!…no discussion about it. I can’t explain how many times I have been greeted by people raising an eyebrow and looking expectantly at my belly – some more obvious than others – expecting me to burst into a song and dance announcing I’m expecting.
I’ve learnt that once you hit your 30s, are married and still childless, people start raising their eyebrow even higher and insinuating that your biological clock is ticking even louder and that something should really be done about it.
When I finally did announce I was expecting, all the raised eye brows finally relaxed and I was given the seal of approval. Lucky me 😉
14 months ago I gave birth to a beautiful boy and as cliche as it may sound, it was the happiest day of my life. Holding him for the first time was an overwhelming experience that cannot be described. My husband and I instantly fell in love with our little bundle of joy and we realised that our world had shifted and had become even more beautiful.
I remember thinking that I finally had to grow up as I was responsible for another human being who depended on me, and to be honest, I was truly frightened. Suddenly, everything changed. The comfortable routine that had been constructed prior to the baby has all changed and every chore has to be given considerate amount of organising and planning. A simple trip to the supermarket has to be planned and coordinated in advance and I won’t even mention the logistics necessary to plan a night out!
The first few months seem like a constant routine of feeding, changing and burping. Then it’s a matter of child proofing every inch of your home, removing any breakable object and totally ignoring the fact that little grubby hands have left their mark on the coffee table, television, wall and once beautiful white sofa.
Nobody describes the reality of the changes you have to make, or the patience you have to have – the eyebrow raisers certainly steer clear of the topic!
Inspite of all the changes, these 14 months have been amazing. After having got over the initial hiccups of figuring out what to do with a new-born baby, I started to relax and take the whole experience in my stride. I have accepted the fact that I am not flawless and all that I can do is try my best, learn along the way and enjoy being a mum.
And I must say, it is enjoyable.
Seeing him changing and learning everyday is amazing. Each new achievement he makes means my husband will be whipping out the video camera, ready to record the moment and if the camera is out of battery or not at hand, we get into a frenzy and try to see how to capture the moment.
A proud phonecall to my mother would then ensue, telling her all the wonderful things he’s learnt since we last spoke. Anybody watching us would think that we’re the only parents on the planet!
It’s at times like these that you need to talk to other parents and realise that they do the exact same thing – at least we’re not the only two people losing our marbles.
Today is Mother’s Day and after having been allowed a little lie-in, my husband and son were waiting for me with a card and gift in hand. With a few wobbly steps, my son came over and even managed a sloppy wet kiss, which made my day. At the end of the day it’s the little gestures which have the biggest impact and for the millionth time, I reminded myself about how blessed I am.
With my thirties advancing rapidly, I am once again expecting eyebrows to be raised and questions to be asked about when I’m having baby number 2. Hints like – it would be so beautiful for my son to grow up with a sibling or not to leave a big age gap between siblings – have already been dropped.
Who knows? I may just follow their advice…..